I was watching Oprah last night... this morning actually And it was recommended that no one get married before 30... After hearing Steve Harvey speak.. I must say, I agree.. Your 20s are when you're still finding yourself Your 30s are when you've decided who you are and thus are ready to decide what you want in a person you intend to spend the rest of your life with. People are so in love with the idea of the wedding part of marriage, that they get caught up in that glamour. But that is just a day.. and as you get older, hopefully your finances will get even better so that you may have the wedding of your dreams with the man/woman of your dreams!
I am no expert on marriage, but I think that I have been in a long enough relationship to know that in a deep, close, intimate relationship, you somewhat lose yourself. You lose some of your individual definition because you begin to define yourself with each other.. That's your "other half".. The choices you make are often based on how your SO will feel how your SO will react... It's not always with true consideration of what YOU want... because you cannot imagine what your answer would be minus him Whether your choice would be different.... is as unknown as tomorrow. Each choice that you make as a result of your relationship, is one less choice that you make for yourself as an individual.. And in your 20s.. it is time for growth.. to find the you you dream to be.. to become the person you claim to be... A relationship stifles that growth because there is less thought about what "Me" wants and more thought about what "We", "She", "He" wants. This is sometimes the death of a relationship by the 30s... You've finally grown into the person that you will be for the rest of your life pretty much... and often times, so did your SO.. and sometimes the changes in each are so different.. that you two are no longer what each want... What you may expect from a relationship in your 20s may be little to what you need from a relationship in your 30s and what your SO was able to do for you sufficed then, but doesn't now. You may need someone to simply talk to, make you laugh, take you out, tell you that you're beautiful, etc. when your 20 and at 30, you may need someone who wants a family, who can not talk, who knows when to not laugh, can handle finances, has ambition, goals, a career, is established, is DEFINED.
Priorities, expectations, perceptions, needs, goals, likes/dislikes, life, all change and yes it's great when you can grow with your SO into the people that you will be... But don't let fear of losing that person keep you from exploring who you want to be... Who you might be without them... It is worse to not grow into your own person, but rather into the person you will be as a result of being with them. If you love something let it go, they say... If it comes back, it's yours... If you're meant to be.... you will be.. Eventually, inevitably.
Comments (1)
you may not know it but this changed my view on alot of things