Monday, 01 June 2009

• Good Boyfriend's Luck Parte Deux

  Was talking to an asshole yesterday, sorry, for lack of better word.
  Not a general asshole, although he comes close,
  but an asshole lover/boyfriend/dater.
  He had such a shitty (also for lack of better word) POV of love and relationships
  that it gave me a new appreciation for this "Luck" that I have been dubbed with.
  It isn't that the guys I meet are all great bfs...I've met plenty of A-holes.
  It's that I am able to not give those guys my heart or effort or attention.
  And it's not that the boyfriends I have are so great, no offense..
  I mean they are, but not in the sense one initially imagines
  They are RELATIVELY great.. meaning that the rest of the male species
  are not living up to their potential.. and those who are, are more attractive
  and "Good" Boyfriends.
  The asshole I talked to made me realize how much maturity is required for
  a REAL relationship. A relationship requires a person to be happy within
  and secure and ready to indulge into a relationship with a goal/purpose.
  Not an objective. A goal.
  Objectives are short term, and that tends to be what daters tend to have.
  I define daters as people who have the same bf/gf title but are not in a real relationship.
  Daters tend to be young people *HEYYYY!* who just want a lil fun,
  to have someone to spend time with and be happy with...
  and GET. That's the funnest part of dating..
  Getting who you want. That is the objective...
  and what is to happen past that is usually not on the mind.
  Relationship people have a goal of finding their future partner in this relationship.
  They make choices based on future plans
  and make serious plans and choices based on
  what they want for themselves and their relationship in the future
  Mature relationships are tended to as plants with intentions of blossoming in the future.
  With daters.. it's more of a.. I water the plant when I feel like it,
  When it looks good, when I feel good, or when it doesn't look so good.
  Plants need to be tended to daily however.. and with more than just water....
  

  Any guy who is able to mature out of boyhood can be a good boyfriend.
  But what makes a GREAT boyfriend???
  A GREAT Boyfriend is a boyfriend who understands what a relationship is
  Understands himself.. Is mature enough for a relationship..
  and is ABLE to treat his significant other (SO) as HE wants to be treated.
  He is able to not be selfish and also not be too selfless as to lose himself in his love.
  He is able to COMMUNICATE his feelings when necessary
  and simply communicate with his SO as that is the foundation of a relationship.
  He is able to PRIORITIZE his relationship and manage to balance his work,
  social, and individual life.
  He is honest, tells the hardest truths, tells what's in his heart
  and is willing to learn and grow... not necessarily change.. but grow.
  
  Do I have "Good Boyfriend" Luck.. yes, I have had this. 
  I have been lucky to date males who matured out of boyhood.
  But have I had Great Boyfriend Luck?
  I think I do now.
  I think I have one now.
  He's my man. He's my partner. And I love him.
  Lucky... 
  I certainly am.

                                                                        Niki I.

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